Emily’s story
Emily came to see me on the recommendation of her solicitor. Emily had been with her husband for 20 years, and married for 10 of those years. They had one daughter together, aged 8. Emily’s husband had left very suddenly a few months earlier, leaving Emily and their daughter very upset, in debt and with a half-completed building project at home. Emily’s husband had already admitted to having several affairs during their marriage, and was now living with his girlfriend, whom he had been seeing for a few months before leaving.
Emily had already started divorce proceedings when she came to see me. Her ex-husband was not engaging with the process, and Emily felt that he was being aggressive and angry towards her. He wanted Emily to attend mediation, which she was dreading.
“I had filed for divorce just a few weeks before meeting Claire. My ex-husband was refusing to engage with my solicitor & withholding information and was insisting I had to attend mediation with him, despite being very aggressive during the limited communications we had, with a lot of blame & anger directed at me.
Although I had friends and neighbours for support, I was mainly dealing with the situation on my own. I was struggling to cope emotionally and physically (eating and sleeping habits were highly disrupted). I knew I needed to protect myself & my daughter emotionally.
I felt highly anxious at the prospect of sitting in a room with my ex-husband to try to resolve finances and child care arrangements. I was exhausted & emotionally drained, confused & fearful of what the future would hold and I didn’t know how I could find the strength to deal with the continuous attacks and demands. I felt very out of control and like the divorce & situation was happening to me, and not something I could control or protect myself or my daughter from.
I wanted to gain clarity & take back control, to be able to resolve the situation and finalise the divorce.
Claire helped me to view the situation from another point of view. She reminded me of my inner strengths and gave me techniques to enable me to draw on these. Claire gave me a good range of exercises to fight my anxiety and calm my mind, which helped me sleep & eat better. I was able to attend mediation and eventually even to meet my ex-husband’s girlfriend before she was introduced to our daughter.
Through inwards reflection Claire helped me to achieve a clearer view of what was happening, what I could influence and what I couldn’t. This in turn made me feel more confident and in control of the situation.
Although my divorce is still not finalised and we still have to resolve finances and child care arrangements, I feel confident that I can deal with anything being thrown at me now and am stronger, happier & more hopeful for the future.
I found that during the mediation session & meeting with my ex-husband’s girlfriend I could clearly identify when my anxiety levels were rising and I had techniques ready to combat this. I was able to stay calm, without getting emotional. I remained clear headed and was able to articulate my views and boundaries during both meetings.
When receiving upsetting solicitors’ letters, I am now able to rationalise and read between the lines to figure out what my ex-husband was really asking, without it affecting me. I was able to remove my emotions, understand what I want out of the situation, and have a clear idea of how best to respond.
After 3 sessions with Claire I noticed I had gone from obsessing about the situation to feeling calmer, much more confident, stronger, and ready to deal with whatever came my way. Aggressive or upsetting communication from my ex-husband was no longer affecting me as negatively, and I was much clearer on how to react or not react. I feel calmer addressing my daughter’s concerns and worries and much more able to support her.
Claire is very warm, understanding and empathetic. Speaking from her own experience she gives guidance and a range of great techniques and exercises to help you take back control, become calmer and more confident to deal with divorce and all the stumbling stones that come with it. I enjoyed working with her and feel I learnt a lot about myself during our sessions.
I am rediscovering the person I was before my marriage: a fierce, strong & independent woman, who doesn’t take cr*p from anyone.I would definitely recommend Claire to others.
I don’t think I could have attended mediation with my ex-husband without Claire’s help to battle my anxiety. Claire gave me confidence and helped me find strength to deal with an extremely upsetting situation, when I was feeling helpless, broken and unable to go on.
I feel like myself again. I am stronger, more confident and reassured that I can deal with anything now. The techniques Claire has given me will be useful and invaluable in many different areas of my life, not just during this divorce and I am sure will make me more successful and happier in the long run.”