How can coaching help me and my family through my divorce? - the coaching ripple effect

I recently received a wonderful email from one of my clients, Sarah (not her real name). In it, she described how her friends and family have noticed a difference in her since she has started Metamorphosis coaching with me. I have noticed big shifts in Sarah too, and it’s always fantastic when clients’ families recognise and validate the changes.

When you embrace it, coaching really helps you to make big and powerful changes to your mindset and perspective, in a short space of time. Coaching helps you take responsibility, get clarity, take back control and move forward positively.

Do I do this for you? No.

I show you tools to empower you to do it for yourself.

Sarah already feels stronger and more resilient, less angry and confused. She’s taken real control over her feelings, her environment and her future. She’s been open to looking at things differently, and she’s been proactive in the choices she has made (including the choice to work with me!).

Perhaps the best part is that Sarah is now able to tell her children that she knows she will be okay, and know that now, she really means it.

These massive shifts don’t stop with Sarah. There is a ripple effect happening around her, as she shares her learning and experience with her friends, family and colleagues.

Children learn by experience and by modelling the behaviours they see in those around them – their parents, teachers, friends, role models. When children see a parent who is calm and collected, who is able to control their emotions and respond with dignity in a crisis, they learn how to handle stress and challenge, and how to rebuild after trauma. By passing on techniques and tips to your children, you empower them to process and move forward themselves. All valuable life lessons!

Through facing your own fears and emotions, you become more able to talk to those around you about their feelings. By listening to and hearing your children’s fears and worries, by enabling them to talk about their emotions, you show them that their feelings matter, and that they are valid. You can help them avoid overwhelm and understand their reactions. Many of my clients use the techniques I show them in our sessions to help their children, friends and loved ones handle and dial down their own fears and worries.

child divorce emotions

Again and again, I see my clients using the growing confidence that they feel in her own ability to handle whatever curveball their divorce might throw out next (and there are always curveballs!), to help those around them handle it too.

The ripple effect may even reach your ex…. Changing how you communicate with your ex and practising techniques to help keep emotion at bay can have an enormous impact on your divorce proceedings, saving you time and cost. Taking responsibility and getting clarity around what you want to achieve, where your boundaries lie, and what your priorities are will reduce overwhelm and anxiety. Being able to respond rather than react helps to take the heat out of discussions with your ex so that you can both move forward more productively and with greater purpose – minimising rather than escalating conflict.

See my earlier blog on communication - tips for handling conflict for more on this.

I have coached other clients who have applied for and obtained new, higher paid jobs, meaning that they could stabilise their financial future. One client decided to set up a new business supporting local start-up enterprises. Several have been able to go back to work having taken time off with anxiety and stress.

I also help you to identify patterns of behaviour, or limiting beliefs that may be holding you back or having a negative effect on your self-esteem or relationships. Together we can identify patterns and beliefs, and define stronger boundaries so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes – so the effect ripples out to your future. You might find yourself re-evaluating your friendship groups, taking up new hobbies, developing new skills and meeting challenges that you never thought possible. Certainly 10 years ago, I never imagined I would cycle an 87-mile closed road race including the infamous Tumble and Caerphilly Mountain! Nor did I imagine I would ever leave my corporate career to set up a business of my own.

Claire Black divorce coach cycling

Your choices matter, and they make a difference not only to you, but to others around you.

When I work in depth with you, I can help you make positive, sustainable and measurable changes. Together we identify where you can take responsibility for your responses and actions, get clarity and make positive decisions for your future. Those changes ripple out, and the long-lasting benefits can be felt by everyone around you – those you love, your friends and colleagues. The changes aren’t temporary either – they will last for years to come.

This is why I love my work.

Why not book in a free, no obligation, Metamorphosis call with me, to discuss how I can help YOU move from crisis to calm and confidence.

Claire Black